Shampoo, Kisses and Dinner
by flowerboys
Summary: Cloud makes a delivery to three, strange silver haired men. An odd delivery, for odd men and an ever odder experience. One-shot for Rain Innocent dreams


Lo and behold! For I have returned -batman pose- 8D

Now, this is something I have in fact been working on for quite some time. I kept starting/stopping, and finally sat down today, saying to myself, 'ya know what? I'm gonna do this!' This was written for my magnificent, amazing friend Rain Innocent dreams, as she did so kindly (with only 5 or so death threats :3 ) request me to write a story involving the triplets. So I sat, and pondered my muse to death, wondering what in the name of the heavens I could possibly write. After coming up with this strange idea, I wrote about half of it, and then didn't even touch it for several months. But! I have finished it and here it is (:

Also, update for Corrupted Error coming soon, I promise (:

Also also, for my CE readers, -shifty eyes- take this as a teeny weeny bribe if I don't make it to my deadline of the 6th. (Cos we all know I won't)

Also also also (then I'll shut up, I promise) I _am_ working on a New Year fic as well as a Christmas one. It is almooooost done, hopefully I'll have at least one of the done tomorrow

Now, enjoy it, _read_ it, **review** it, favourite it, eat it, do whatever the hell you want with it (:

Disclaimer: -snickers- I OWN KADAJ! -is run over by a train controlled by Square Enix- they own all... -dies-

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"Tifa…" Cloud's voice called out, across the Seventh Heaven Bar to her young, dark haired female friend. The blond's eyes were trained on the familiar order form, filled with a very much unfamiliar address.

"Yes?" She called back, her voice travelling from deep within the storage room, followed by a large thud and a string of high-pitched curses. The blue eyed blond's brows furrowed with concentration before he asked once more,

"What the hell is this?" The inevitable question. The question he had asked several times during the span of 20 minutes; though it was phrased slightly different this time. His voice was laced with mild irritancy. There was a brief pause of their conversation over the gentle hum of customers conversing, before the emergence of Tifa, wiping her hands on an old rag she flung over her shoulder.

"I have reason to believe," she reached over the bar and stealthily snatched the pale blue piece of paper from Cloud's fingertips, "that this is the address for your latest delivery."

The blond grumbled something consisting of the words 'no shit' before he snatched the paper back, rising from his seat on the stool slightly and grumbling,

"Yes, I do have eyes you know. But what the hell am I delivering and where the hell is this place anyway?" Impatience thick in his voice.

"It's written on the back, and get a goddamn map!" Tifa retorted, though absent mindedly, as she placed the order of a straight whiskey before her customer, disappearing into the store room once more swiftly. The blond male rolled his eyes,

"I don't need a map…" he muttered in a pique tone of voice as he slid off the barstool, still concentrating on the piece of paper, where a single word was written messily on the back, 'shampoo'. How strange, thought Cloud, exiting the bar, and folding the piece of paper to place it in his pocket. He reached his bike, Fenrir, and mounted it carefully, sliding on his leather gloves and placing his glasses over his eyes before revving up the engine and driving towards the pickup place for the order.

Cloud drove slowly down an unfamiliar route, having paused a few times to ask for directions to the address that was stated on his piece of paper. The looked people had given him were rather strange, as though he had been asking how to get to the moon, but the blond shook off the though, speeding up slightly at the vague sight of a mansion like building at the end of the road. The road was lined with trees, bearing fiery, orange leaves, whilst some lay on the floor, brown and dead, covering the pebbled ground slightly. Fenrir's tyres made an odd sound against the small stones, as the hum of the engine died down; Cloud coming to a gradual stop and removing his reflecting glasses. He acknowledged his surrounding, a well tamed front yard with a very large house. Too large, Cloud could say, and he felt a pang on jealousy almost, before frowning at his ridiculous reaction and retrieving the parcel from the storage compartment. Staring at the pink bottle of strawberry scented, children's 'eye safe' shampoo, he almost smirked at the ridiculousness of the order, but assumed the household had a child, as he walked the door. He stared at the large, polished, black door, as he admired the fact that he could make out his own bleary reflection; though grimacing at his untamed hair, and running a desperate hand through it. It took him a fair few seconds before locating the doorbell, pressing his forefinger to the white button, as a crisp, sharp, harmonious ring sounded behind the thick door. Cloud shifted the parcel in his hand a few times, leaning from one foot to the other. He mentally counted to ten – as impatient as he was – before moving his finger to press the bell again. Though just as his finger reached the button, but had not yet pressed it, the door opened with a swoosh. The blond stepped back a bit, a rather unnecessary blush creeping its way onto his cheeks as he swapped the parcel for the umpteenth time from his right hand to his left. His blue eyes also widened rather unnecessarily as well as involuntarily at the sight that stood before him.

A skinny, yet lean, young man with shoulder-short silver hair stood before him. A friendly, yet somewhat mocking and amused, smirk on his perfectly aligned lips, that held the slightest of cherry-tinges. His cat-like pupils in the centre of jade, sparkling seas of green that swirled slightly with an almost affectionate hint. His silver fringe obscuring his right eye ever so slightly, but not enough to cover the faint jade glow. His head cocked to the side slightly, and almost childlishly, as the leather on his body swished to the side with his step forward, the gentle creek of leather sounding through the silent air between them as one leg moved forwards before the other did too. Almost instinctively, Cloud took a step back; wishing immediately he hadn't at the mock frown on the silver haired man's face. Unfortunately for the blond, the order form had not provided a name, so Cloud was very much in the dark regarding the male's identity. The heavy silence was broken by the gentle, needless clearing of the man's throat, as he smiled once more, staring straight into Cloud's sparkling aqua eyes, his gentle, soft voice sounding clear yet mild,

"And you are…?" Almost immediately, Cloud felt all moisture leave his mouth and throat. His entire mouth became dry, as a sandy like texture lined itself against the inside of his throat. The blond tried to swallow, but could not will be action to be processed by his brain, as he stood, dumbly, clutching desperately at the pink parcel. His mind quickly tried to conjure a sensible action, but when none came to mind, his arms acted on his brain's behalf, thrusting the package borderline violently towards the man: who simply widened his smirk at the gesture. Cloud inwardly cursed his actions, contemplating whether or not to withdraw his arms, and deciding not to as he would simply look more foolish than he already did. He felt his face burn up with a fierce blush, as he quickly tried to think of what to do next.

He was saved his embarrassing antics however, when he man simply stepped aside and waved Cloud in, and fortunately for the blond, in silence. His situation of embarrassment however, seemed to have clouded his senses, as usually the gesture to be invited into a customer's home would have rung alarm bells in his mind, red flags appearing everywhere whilst the scream 'run' would have been repeated several times. However, the absence of alarm bells, flags and screams lead to Cloud stepping into the large hallway. A black, sparkling marble floor lay under his boots, vases lined the walls, as beautiful, renaissance styled paintings complimented the antique yet fine looking wallpaper. The most detailed of sculptures stood on small side tables on each side of the grand staircase in the centre. Stairs, also lined with a deep black carpet, and Cloud found himself wondering why all the black seemed to work so well and yet keep the area looking so large. The blond was once more, gently snapped out of his reverie, and promptly brought his lips back together when he realised he had been staring open mouthed at his surroundings. The man spoke again, returning the unhealthy blush to Cloud's cheeks, by which the silver haired man seemed rather amused.

"Why don't you come and sit?" Cloud found himself wanting to step back once more, but realised he had already been backing up against a wall, when it came into soft contact with his back. The man extended his hand, tenderly brushing his gloved fingertips against Cloud's cheek, before grazing a lazy finger along his jaw line, coming to finally rest on his shoulder. The man's smirk widened yet, and the Cloud could've sworn he had seen a playful kind of lust swirling within the pond green.

The action had more than simply flustered the blond, as he had felt himself inadvertently leaning into the touch slightly, simply fuelling the strange man's amusement. Cloud found himself wishing that the floor would simply open up from beneath his boots and swallow him whole, taking him to the very depths of the planet where he could perish in peace, when another silver haired man came into view of his blue eyes. The blond swallowed whatever little saliva was left in his already dry mouth from the close proximity of the other man, and realised that the other man was almost smirking slightly, before flicking his shimmering silver, a little longer than shoulder-length hair back with a smooth movement of his right hand. Which Cloud noticed also to be gloved. Why would somebody wear gloves when they're indoors? Cloud mused, fidgeting slightly with the package he still held in his hands. Unless this wasn't their home. _What if they are burglars? What if they had broken into the mansion, and I have just been unfortunate enough to walk in on them looting the place? What if they now have to kill me? What if they already killed up the owners of house? Or tied them up in the basement and are planning on–_ All these thoughts, questions and paranoid scenarios perished when the taller man's voice cut through slightly piqued towards what Cloud assumed was his brother, by the looks of it,

"Kadaj, you're scaring the boy." Cloud found himself with an annoyed expression rather than a frightened one as he was referred to as a boy, but his thoughts were stopped once more as the young man whispered,

"He's so pretty…" Cloud's body tensed up at these words, they were whispered in breaths against his cheek as the man referred to as 'Kadaj' leant in and inhaled the scent of Cloud's hair slightly, just about containing the urge to press his thin lips to the blond's flushed cheek. The taller man rolled his eyes, moving in two long strides from the staircase, and grasped Kadaj by the shoulder, moving him away from a very grateful blond.

Cloud let out the breath he had been holding, his heartbeat sounding clearly in his ears, as his 'saviour' spoke. _He doesn't have a sexy voice, he doesn't have a sexy voice,_ Cloud mentally chanted to himself, as the perfect syllables reached his ears,

"I'm sorry about my brother here, he gets a little carried away at times." _Dammit, he has a sexy voice._ Just as Cloud was about to answer, he cursed his luck for the third time in the span of a very short amount of time, as yet _another_ silver haired man descended in hyperactive jumps from the staircase. This man, held a grin, which seemed to falter at the sight of Cloud. He had short, cropped silver hair which held a sense of gravity-defying style, though not similar to Cloud's, as this man's was slightly wavy rather than spiky. His eye colour was an odd, steely grey with the tiniest hint of icy blue. His side burns extended along, neatly lining his jaw line; making his appearance all the more menacing. Though it was evident from his childish pout that the man was less than manly.

"Brother, who is this?" He cocked his head to his side, watching Cloud closely who felt immediately outnumbered. If they were indeed criminals then the blond was as good as dead and buried 6 foot under. When nobody answered and Kadaj began to smirk again, Cloud took it was his cue to answer, keeping his voice as steady as he could manage,

"I-I…your d-delivery?" He held the package out once more, and the man with the longer hair nodded once, taking the package and placing upon one of the tables, seeming to dismiss the package altogether. His eyes focused on Cloud once more, who turned ever so slightly, eyeing up the thick, heavy door. He weighed his chances of making it out the door, and onto Fenrir before the three men could stop him, and just as he decided to take his chances, Kadaj had moved close to him, staring at his eyes like he was admiring diamonds in a show-case. _Which is what the burglars are probably used to,_ Cloud thought pessimistically, before learning the stoic man's name through another whisper of Kadaj's voice against his neck this time. _Dammit, why didn't I wear a turtleneck like I usually do_, the blond cursed again as his skin flushed crimson,

"Yazoo, brother, his eyes are like the ocean."

"I've never seen the ocean!" The burlier men of the three suddenly cried out, his shoulder shaking slightly, and Cloud simply stared, wide-eyed at the strange, peculiar man.

"Don't cry, Loz, sure you've seen the ocean." The sexy man's voice, as Cloud had dubbed him before learning his name was Yazoo, soothed Loz.

"I'm not crying!" Another choked sob sounded, before the man reappeared form behind his brother and smiled at Cloud, "Hey, you're cute." Cloud believed he had seen blunt when he had met Reno, but this was something else.

"Isn't he? Come smell his hair." Kadaj said, skipping over to his burly brother and seizing him by the wrist swiftly, before skipping back to Cloud. Yazoo, feeling the need to interfere almost smiled at how well his two brothers were getting along as they usually raised all hell. The muscular mean breathed deeply, and then a wide smile spread across his lips. The words _big friendly giant_crossed Cloud's mind, before all thought processed ground to a halt. Loz lifted his hand, raking his fingers through soft, silky sunny spikes. Mesmerized by the strangely pleasant feeling, and faint hint of jasmine from the man, Cloud was once again broken out of stupor when the sensation was suddenly absent. He gathered his wits, however much of it was remained, and cleared his voice, the action sounding more like a mouse squeaking for mercy in the clutches of a cat. Cloud swallowed thickly at the analogy, it certainly was not helping that the three men did in fact have cat-like eye pupils.

"I-I…I sh-should really g-g-go…" His voice betraying the brief mindset of stability he set himself. His voice cracking, his cheeks flaring up with a fierce blush.

"Awh, so soon, Kitten?" The sudden nickname surprising Cloud once more, rather than irking him. Kadaj spoke, probably completely unaware of the fact that his voice was not doing the state of Cloud's libido any good. Though his smirk and fluid movement said otherwise. The leather that clung to his perfectly sculpted body swished slightly with his step as he made his way back over the Cloud. The delivery boy took another step back, his back colliding with a gentle thud against the wall. The silver haired male stood closer to him, a mere inch separating their chests, torso and lips. The man's leg gradually pried apart Cloud's leg with his knee, pressing his thigh in between the space he'd created. Loz stared at the unfolding scene with slight awe, a thin smile tugging at his lips. Yazoo, realising he should probably interfere and remove his brother from he unfortunate strange, took half a step forwards, but realised he was too late. As Kadaj's cherry tinged lips connected with Cloud's searing lips, the blond boy instinctively pushed himself further against the wall, flattening himself from contact with the silver haired boy. As this failed rather miserably, he jerked his head back, away, with a little too much force than required, inevitably connecting with the sharp, metal corner of a large frame that hung on the wall. A sharp pain spread through the back of his skull, spreading an instant monstrous migraine. He yelped, and then groaned, white spots, fading into black, filling his vision, before Kadaj's presence was absent, and his body slumped helplessly to the floor.

"–blaming me!"

"–your fault–"

"Was not!"

"–let him rest, he'll wake up soon." "–didn't loose much blo–" Cloud gradually regained consciousness, the first thing his mind registered being the throbbing pain in the back of his head. The shifted slowly, the pain simply increasing when he did, and his hands brushed against the soft carpet beneath him – _Wait a minute. The house doesn't have a carpet. _The blond sat up hastily, well as hastily as is injury was allowing him, and regretted the action as the room began to spin, the bed rushing up to meet his face as his body went limp once more, though he did not loose consciousness. A blur of silver walked over to side, two, icy blue blurs staring into his own azul blue. He struggled to focus even mildly, and finally noticed it was Yazoo, since no attack on his lips had been performed, and no childish remark about a pretty deprivation had been sounded.

"I apologise for this." He said, kneeling beside the bed, and helping the blond to sit up. The blond looked around, and noticed he had in fact been placed n a huge bed which sat proudly in the middle of a grandly decorated room. The blond found it strange that the three brothers shared a bed, but he paid it no mind, when he was asked,

"What's your name?" Cloud looked around, dumbly realising the question had been directed at him, before looking back at Kadaj, who had asked the question,

"Cloud." He replied, his voice much calmer than he though it'd be. Perhaps the limit which Cloud had set himself with strangers, had just been broken rather reluctantly when he had passed out and been in placed in a stranger's bed. The fact that he was placed in a bed, and the wound on the back of his had been tended to, at least put Cloud to ease: that the house was indeed the men's. The gloves however, still irked him slightly.

"Such a nice name…" The silver haired boy purred

"Kadaj!" Yazoo said in a warning voice, a pout finding itself on Kadaj's features at his older brother's scolding tone. But the younger did not apologise, simply pouted and the moved towards his other brother, who sat in the corner of the room, sprawled across a chair, simply observing the scene. Yazoo sighed, and then moved to stand beside Loz, Kadaj crossing his arms childishly.

"Cloud, we would appreciate it if you could at least stay for dinner? It is the least we can do after the unfortunate incident with your injury." Yazoo offered solemnly. He watched as the blond delivery boy shot Kadaj a worried glance, and then seemed to weight the odd of getting food poisoning.

"Do not worry, I will prepare dinner quickly, we will not keep you too long." An alternative way of saying 'I'll cook, not Kadaj; unless you have a deathwish.' As the youngest of the trio was already annoying at his tall brother and the stoic male did not want to worsen the situation. Cloud nodded hesitantly, accepting the fact that he could not escape this house until he accepted their generous offer of dinner.

"Very well, I shall go downstairs and get started. Loz, would you so kindly help Cloud down the stairs?" He turned towards the door, stopping slightly at the door, and turning to his pouting little brother. "Kadaj, with me." He held out his hand, like a mother beckoning her child, and the boy hopped over, with a smile plastered to his face, and accepted the hand, skipping beside Yazoo out of the room.

The pair was left in awkward silence, as Loz stared at Cloud with an indifferent expression, before moving to help Cloud sit up. It was uncomfortable to say the least, as the burly man did not seem like type of person to be using his strength for more delicate things. He placed his hands on Cloud's back, supporting him when he got up. The room spun for a little while longer, before the delivery boy was able to get to his feet, and finally stand. Cloud stood for a moment just for good measure, before attempting to take a step, just as room began to spin once more, the colouring of his surrounding all taking a white tinge, the blue eyed boy braced himself for the painful impact, but he found himself propped up beside the silver haired male. The blond's arm was flung across his neck whilst Loz's arm was carefully wrapped around Cloud's waist. The boy did not have in him to tremble or be shocked, so he simply raised a golden, quizzical eyebrow.

"Don't worry, I gotcha." Loz smiled back, and though it wasn't quite as evocative as Kadaj's, it had an odd allusion to it.

Cloud trudge down the last step, his hand clinging to the banister of the grand staircase desperately. He was helped into the dining room by Loz, where he found Kadaj already seated, eyeing up the food that lay on the large, long solid oak table. The table, with no cloth, lay garnished with several platters, plates and bowls. Platters lined with cheese, plates filled with meat, fish and bowls filled with salads, sauces and vegetable. Cloud stared open mouthed at the array of food, Yazoo chuckled slightly, and gestured for him to take a seat.

"Thanks…" The blond mumbled when the chair was held out to him by Loz, who received an icy glare from Kadaj. Cloud was seated on the far end of the long table, as he hesitantly waited for Yazoo to begin eating before he did.

"Please, go ahead Cloud." The taller man offered, though he made no effort to place something in his own plate. It seemed as though Loz took this as his own cue to fill his plate with a ridiculous pile of food, and begin consuming like it was his last meal.

"Would you like some wine? Cloud?" The smooth, silky voice sounded in his ear mid way through the dinner. The blond just about kept himself from jumping, as he could've sworn Kadaj was sitting at the opposite end. Yazoo desperately resisted the urge of forcefully dragging his smaller brother back into his seat, and spoon feeding him; just to stop him from pestering their guest.

"N-No, thank, I'm driving." He said, quickly excusing himself. God knows what the man spiked the drink with, but Kadaj simply purred disapprovingly, moving gracefully around to the blond's other side and holding out a bottle of red wine.

"Oh, but this is my favourite Cloud, you'll like it, I promise."

"No it's not! You don't even drink wine!" Loz suddenly exclaimed, flailing around a piece of steak in a very undignified manner, as Kadaj shot him a glare that could easily peel the pain off the wall. But his burly brother seemed not to pay him any mind.

"Yes I do–"

"Kadaj, would you sit down!" Yazoo said, slightly anger in his tone, and the delivery boy internally swore he had just seem the colour of his eyes glow a little more intensely. Cloud took this as a cue that he had long since outstayed his welcome, and abruptly rose from his seat, quickly wiping his hands on the napkin, and clearing his throat a little loudly.

"Look, uh, I should really…go. Like, now." He paused slightly under the gaze of the three silver haired men, as he the entire dining room grew quiet. He quickly strode to the door of the dining room, aware of the fact that he was followed by the three men. Kadaj only a step behind. Before either of the three men could say anything, Cloud quickly said,

"I'm so sorry, and thank you very much for the dinner, but it's getting late and Tifa will be worried about me." He bowed slightly, unaware of what to do since he did not want to shake the men's hand if he could help it.

"Who's Tifa? Your girlfriend? You have a girlfriend?" Kadaj shouted, met with the blundered gaze of Cloud's aqua blue eyes and the angry eyes of Yazoo.

He quickly flung open the large door, and shot out in an instant. Leaving the three men standing, blundered and absolutely perplexed.

"What just happened…?" Kadaj spoke quietly, looking at his brothers for answers.

"You scared him away, that's what!" Loz said, his face taking a sad expression.

"No, I didn't you idiot! Stop crying you big baby!"

"I'm not crying!" The big man replied, his shoulders trembling slightly.

"Oh Loz, it's okay. Stop teasing your brother, Kadaj." Yazoo ruffled his hair slightly, glaring at the smaller male.

"I didn't do anything! You're always picking on me!" Kadaj huffed, stomping away back towards the living room, as Cloud quickly mounted Fenrir, driving with determination he never knew he had.

His journey home was…normal, compared to dinner with three silver haired strangers. He daren't think however, lest he go genuinely insane. As he rolled up to a halt outside Seventh Heaven, he dismounted his bike, staring at nothing in particular as he was greeted with the sight of Tifa serving some customers, before turning to Cloud.

"Oh, hey Cloud, you're back pretty late, did you find the place alright?"

"Huh? Oh, it is pretty late…" He noted as he peered dumbly out of the window, taking a seat on bar stool. Tifa shot him a strange look, before proceeding to clean a glass and repeat her question from before,

"So did you find the place alright?"

"Yeah…I suppose I did." He got up from his seat, walking towards the staircase in the back which led to the house, "If you call passing out at a stranger's house, having dinner with three silver haired murderers and meeting a grown man who claims to never having seen the ocean, alright." He placed his foot on the first step, turning back to Tifa.

"Cloud? You okay…?" She inquired, looking genuinely worried and subconsciously gazing over his body for any signs of injuries or battle marks.

"Oh yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He waved a dismissive hand, though his voice seemed like his mind was working 100 miles per hour to sort out what had just happened. "Oh and they thought you're my girlfriend…funny, isn't it."

"Cloud, what is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, nothing! Look, er, if you need me, I'll be in my room having a mental breakdown…" His mumbled, his voice trailing off as he continued on up the stairs, towards his bedroom.


End file.
